Defining What You Want In A Relationship

In any relationship, having a clear picture of what you want can be a game-changer. This involves diving deep into what truly matters to you, going beyond surface-level notions like attraction or convenience. The reality is, if you’re not sure about your relationship goals, you might end up in situations that don’t really serve what you’re looking for or a lot of heartache.

Self-awareness plays a massive role here. Recognizing what you value and what you can’t compromise on allows you to approach relationships with a straighter line instead of bouncing between uncertainties. This clarity reinforces your confidence and helps in making decisions that are in line with your true self.

Misunderstandings in relationships often stem from unsaid expectations or conflicting goals. When you know what you want, these misunderstandings are less likely to occur, because you’ve already set the stage for open, honest communication with potential partners. Communicating openly about your desires and boundaries can significantly reduce conflicts and create a healthier dynamic.

There are real benefits to this approach. Just consider the stories of couples who’ve found long-term satisfaction because they took the time to align their goals and preferences upfront. Whether through real-life stories or data from relationship experts, the message is clear: clarity is a strong foundation for any successful partnership.

Taking the time to understand your relationship goals and communicating them effectively not only enriches your partnerships but also paves the way for a more fulfilling life journey together. It’s about building a relationship where both partners not only support each other’s dreams but also actively participate in achieving them.

Crafting Your Personal ‘What I Want’ List

Everyone’s got their own set of wants, needs, and desires when it comes to relationships. But how many of us have actually sat down and figured it out? Crafting your personal ‘what I want’ list isn’t just a helpful exercise; it’s essential for finding a partner who truly aligns with you. The first step is to carve out some personal time to reflect on your emotional, intellectual, physical, and spiritual needs. Each of these areas plays a role in how satisfied you’ll be in a relationship.

For some, emotional needs might include wanting a partner who is supportive and understanding. Others might prioritize intellectual conversations or shared spiritual values. These aren’t just random thoughts swirling in your head; documenting them gives you a clearer map of what you’re seeking.

Cultural influences can also shape your relationship desires in subtle or not-so-subtle ways. Whether it’s Religion, family expectations, media portrayal of relationships, or societal norms, understanding how these factors play into what you want can provide valuable insights.

Putting all this together, along with reflecting on past relationship experiences, can guide you in crafting a tailored list of priorities. Remember, this isn’t set in stone. It’s a living document that can evolve as you grow and change. But starting the list clarifies who you are today and what you need from a relationship to feel fulfilled.

Understanding Non-Negotiables: The Key to Lasting Satisfaction

When it comes to relationships, non-negotiables are those unyielding core values or deal-breakers you can’t compromise on. They form the backbone of what makes a relationship sustainable and satisfying in the long run. Identifying these non-negotiables involves reflecting deeply on what you truly need from your partner to be content.

The first task is separating wants from genuine non-negotiables. While you might want a partner who shares your love of board games, a non-negotiable might be mutual respect or honesty. These are fundamental needs without which the relationship would likely falter.

Common examples of non-negotiables include honesty, fidelity, financial responsibility, or shared life goals like wanting children. It’s crucial to understand these are deeply personal and can look different for everyone. They should reflect your own life principles and future expectations.

Once you’ve figured out your deal-breakers, communicating them effectively is key. Having clear, open discussions about non-negotiables ensures you’re on the same page with a partner. It’s not about laying down ultimatums, but about sharing your foundational needs that support a healthy lasting relationship.

Being upfront about what you can’t compromise on can save you both heartache down the line. It’s about finding someone whose core values align with yours, providing a solid platform for a thriving partnership.

Building a Solid Foundation: Why Knowing What You Want Matters

Knowing what you want in a relationship isn’t just some introspective exercise; it’s a way to lay down a strong foundation that supports a meaningful and fulfilling partnership. When you have a clear understanding of your needs and desires, you’re better equipped to communicate openly, which plays a significant role in maintaining healthy interactions with a partner.

Self-knowledge leads to better communication. When you’re confident about what you need, expressing those needs becomes more straightforward. In turn, this clarity fosters an environment of trust and respect between partners, making it easier to work through any challenges that might arise.

Navigating societal pressures can be tricky. From societal norms to peer pressures, family pressure, external influences often tell us what we should want in a relationship. Staying true to your own needs requires courage, but it paves the way for relationships that genuinely satisfy you, rather than ones that simply tick boxes. Then keep what you want to yourself and don’t share it with anyone. Sharing it takes away it’s power as you might find you need to explain what you want what you want and they may disagree. This is your life though and only you know what matters most to you!

What’s more, having clearly defined goals and desires makes the journey of a relationship far more rewarding. It allows both partners to actively participate in realizing shared dreams, contributing to a deeper and more satisfying connection. Understanding what you want isn’t just about selecting the right partner; it’s about empowering yourself to build the life and relationship you truly deserve.

To Attract Your True Love, You Need to Love Yourself

What Does That Mean Exactly?

So many coaches, books, audios, webinars & seminars on finding the love of your life, explain the importance of loving yourself, but how do you love yourself more?

Loving yourself coincides with being yourself, because when you love who you are, then you’re happy to be yourself no matter whom you are with.  So it’s about learning to honour yourself in all aspects your life and especially while dating on your path to finding your True Love.

Being yourself also involves tuning into your true inner self and is a process of a combination of things.  The main part of the process is the journey of life you are going through before you meet your True Love. 

Loving yourself involves being happy with where you are and what you are doing at the moment.  You need to find that inner peace that everything is good no matter what happens.  You need to appreciate everything in your life and see the good in it, even if it’s hard.

Loving yourself & being true to yourself also involves being honest with yourself and speaking up when you know something isn’t right.  Saying “no” when you mean no and having the confidence to say “yes” as well when you want something.  This means letting go of whether you think you will hurt someone else’s feelings, because you are honouring yourself and loving yourself when you say something that is true for you.  As long as speaking your truth is also respectful to others around you as well.

An example of this could include, saying “no” when a guy on a date wants to kiss you and you’d rather wait until he calls you his girlfriend before you get intimate.  You may not want to hurt his feelings, so it takes courage to say no.  No matter what his reaction will be, you’ll know that if he’s a good man looking for “True Love” too, that he won’t mind waiting and making sure you’re right for him too before you get intimate.

Same with the guys, as an example for them could be having the courage to say “no” when she invites you in, as you know you need to take it slow too in the beginning to make sure that she is the girl you have been looking for, without getting caught up with “looks only” if she’s really attractive.

So loving yourself means that you are happy and fulfilled on your own before you meet your True Love.  That will mean you won’t get upset when a guy doesn’t call you back, as you’ll know that he wasn’t the right guy for you and that someone better is coming along.  So that when they come along, you don’t require love from them to feel loved.  As love is a feeling already within yourself and you can already look yourself in the mirror and say “I Love You” before someone else looks at you and says that.

You also show love for yourself when you no longer make negative jokes about yourself or think negative thoughts about yourself.  This could include jokes about how unattractive you are, or saying how dumb you are.  Because you will respect yourself to know that you are attractive just as you were created and you are smart in ways that may be different to others, but you appreciate that and don’t need to put yourself down to make others feel better.

You will no longer rely on someone else to make you happy and you make time everyday to do things that you really enjoy.  You can support others as well as be able to open up to let others support you.  You will know why you do what you do everyday and will feel fulfilled or will just enjoy making time to do what makes you most happy.

Loving yourself is a full time job, as we have thousands of thoughts in our mind everyday and we can determine what these thoughts are and how they affect us.  So if you do have many negative thoughts about yourself, you can change that now and turn it around to more positive thoughts.  Start to see how brilliant you really are and appreciate that you’re special and unique.  You shouldn’t want to be like anyone else, as your “True Love” will appreciate how special and unique you are too when they met you.  Being unique will be like a breath of fresh air for them.

I thought I was too high maintenance for any guy to put up with, but I learned to fall in love with my so-called “fussiness” and finally met someone who also loves that about me.  For those who know me, I am very fussy.  I prefer gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, organic etc.  Now when I go out with my husband to cafes he asks the waiter before I do if they have any foods, which include the above.  I feel like he knows more about me more than what I know about myself. Your true love will love and respect you for being different, so have the confidence to speak up, say what you want or what you prefer and he will admire you for it. To learn more about my journey, you can go here to “About Lauren“.

So now you have some tips for loving yourself, they won’t help much unless you put them into action.  So start now by saying some nice thoughts to yourself in your head.  If you need more assistance to catch these negative thoughts to turn them into positives, write some affirmations around the house & in your car to help you remember how brilliant you are. 

We all prefer to be around happy, positive people who love their life, so be the person you want to attract into your life too. Where you’re being different, will be like a breath of fresh air to attract the right partner or true love.

Can you have love AND success?

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